TED is a part Romantic Comedy, part Buddy movie. It’s juvenile, crude, rude, and completely hilarious. Seth MacFarlane the creator of Family Guy, has produced 106 minutes of quality Adult entertainment, but what he hasn’t produced is a movie. TED is basically a very long episode of Family Guy, it’s more akin to a tele-movie than something you would pay to see in a cinema.
John Bennet (Mark Wahlberg) was a lonely 8 year old who made a wish that his Teddy Bear was real, and that they would be friends forever. It came true of course, and now at the age of 35 John and Ted are inseparable, much to the displeasure of John’s girlfriend Lori Collins (Mila Kunis). It’s a pretty standard plot in the Romantic Comedy genre, that kind of “grow up and be a man” story. It’s actually pretty lame, but let’s be honest, if you want to see this movie then you’re really not going to care about the plot.
What you really came to see was a foul mouthed talking Teddy Bear crack jokes hoping it could hold a full length movie. In that sense, TED is a complete success. The comedy is both crude and clever with a miriad a references from the eighties right through to today. You may not get them all, especially if you didn’t grow up in the eighties, but rest assured there is plenty to laught at. My only major criticism of the comedy is that eventually the movie gets way too dramatic. It’s a staple of American Romantic Comedies that it must eventually get serious. Why? I have no idea.
Aside from the laughs however, in every other sense TED is a complete failure. It’s not a movie, just a really long television episode. There is nothing here that makes me say you have to see it on the big screen, not even the usually obligatory sweeping shot of the city. Even the music is a carbon copy of what you would find in the Family Guy, which was surprisingly dissapointing.
All in all, TED earns its stars by being very funny, and nothing else. If you’re a fan of Seth MacFarlane you’re going to get a lot more out of this movie than anyone else. For everyone else, you will still enjoy the crude humour, but really there is nothing else to see here, move along.